


Not even the worst thing I've written on here

by Silentevenings (orphan_account)



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Death, Incest, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Necrophilia, Vomit, Vore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 14:30:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10743612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Silentevenings
Summary: Don't read this. Look at the tags.It was done on a dare, are you proud of me mommy?





	Not even the worst thing I've written on here

**Author's Note:**

  * For [everyone on you know what discord server](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=everyone+on+you+know+what+discord+server).



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Tord was looking for his waifu using his massive erect cock that was almost as large as Tom’s bass guitar susan (XDDDD). He used it like a compass to find is one truuu love, who he had married seven long years ago (all though Edd and Matt did not know because secret shhhhh).

He heard long drawn out moans coming from behind Tom’s door. When he went to try the knob, he found it was unlocked. He opened it to find Tom spread out on the bed, lowering himself onto what looked like a yellow dildo.

“Oh yes, daddy fuck me harder.”

“It is I, Thomas, your daddy, come to fuck you harder.”

Tom turned around, a startled look on his face. 

“T-t-tord this isn’t what it l-l-looks like “ Tom stammered and stuttered.

Tord realized what was truly going on in that moment. His face contorted into the picture of a picture of rage.

“Tom, you’re cheating on me with your own father! I can’t believe you. I thought he was dead!!!~~~”

Tom pulls out the pineapple, to reveal a rotten, shriveled up piece of fruit. 

“He is, I’ve just been saving him for a special occasion. You were so busy and gone for so long. I couldn’t help myself-”

Just then the door slammed open even though it was already open from when Tord first came in. Matt and Edd came in arms loaded with groceries from their fifteenth grocery run this week. 

“Tom are you fucking your dead father again? That’s it, young man, no more vodka, or tv, or movies for you, go in the time out closet,” said Edd with a matronly scowl. He then dragged Tom into the closet and propped a chair in front of it.

Matt meanwhile, noticed his reflection in the bumper of the car across the street. He started walking towards it and fell out the window, landing on the grass in a bloody heap. He started to drag his way towards the bumper but was run over by a car before he even made it halfway.

“Sucks to suck El losero,” said Eduardoodoo in a spainican accent, driving away merrily from his vehicular homicide and run.

Back in the house ringo is now a buff man for some reason (tord build a machine or something its 2am here what the fuck do you want from me).

He strolls up to Edd and sweeps him up in his big, strong, muscular arms. 

“I have waited my entire life for this,” says Bingo, before kissing Edd on the mouth, with his lips and teeth. He sticks his whole tongue down edds throat and Edd chokes on the sandpapery texture. Ringo carries Edd away and Tord is left standing bewildered in the room. 

Tom meanwhile has found his stash of vodka in the closet and has drunk himself into a near catatonic state.

Tord looks at the rotting pineapple, covered and flecks of poopie and a little bit of blood. He grabs Tom’s harpoon from its handy place over his bed and stabs the pineapple. He takes one bite and then another, then finishes the whole thing. He promptly vomits all over Tom’s bed, so now this fic can be tagged as vore and emetophilia I guess.

Edd and Ringo are married happily ever after and Tord doesn’t wake up in time to save Tom from starving to death in the closet. That doesn’t mean Tord can’t still have a ton of fun ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). 

By what must surely have been the universe finally developing a semblance of a conscience, a giant sinkhole opens up and swallows the entire house whole. Pal and Patronizing try to save their buttchild but it is futile, Tord is swallowed up by the rancid earth that spawned him, and rides his way all the way down to hell, where satan gives him the number one edgelord.

Tord cries acid tears of pure angst as he thinks of his dead waifu.

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> still need to draw tomtord hatefucking on legos....


End file.
